Steven Wright Quotes and Sayings

“Everywhere is walking distance if you have the time.” – Steven Wright

“When I woke up this morning my girlfriend asked me, ‘Did you sleep good?’ I said ‘No, I made a few mistakes.'” – Steven Wright

“There’s a fine line between fishing and standing on the shore like an idiot.” – Steven Wright

“For my birthday I got a humidifier and a de-humidifier… I put them in the same room and let them fight it out.” – Steven Wright

“I intend to live forever. So far, so good.” – Steven Wright 2

“I couldn’t repair your brakes, so I made your horn louder.” – Steven Wright