Zoo Jokes and Puns

Zoo visitor: What’s the new baby hippo’s name? Hippopotamus keeper: I don’t know, he won’t tell me.

Zoo Keeper: “I’ve lost one of my elephants” Other Zoo Keeper: “Why don’t you put an advert in the paper?” Zoo Keeper: “Don’t be silly, he can’t read!”

What did the lioness say to the cub chasing a hunter?
“Stop playing with your food.”

A zookeeper is ordering new animals. As he fills out the forms, he types “two mongeese.” That doesn’t look right, so he tries “two mongoose,” then “two mongooses.” Giving up, he types, “One mongoose, and while you’re at it, send another one.”

Why did the Irishman buy two tickets to the zoo? One to get in and one to get out.

Caller: Finally! I got through! I’ve been trying to call the zoo for hours! Zookeeper: Yes, all our lions were busy!

What mouse was a Roman emperor?
Julius Cheeser.

What do elephants like to do in the evening?
Watch elevision!

Annie[all]: Hey Lee Sin.
Lee sin[all]: What?
Annie[all]: Have you seen my bear tibbers?

When an ape visits his tailor, what kind of a suit does he order? A zoo-t suit!

A man is driving down the freeway with his two pet penguins when he gets pulled over by a cop for speeding. After the cop hands over the speeding ticket to the driver, he notices the 2 penguins. The cop informs the driver that he must take the penguins to the zoo. The driver agrees to do so. Two months later, the same man is pulled over by the same cop for speeding. The cop notices the penguins again only now they are wearing sunglasses and eating ice cream. The cop says, “I thought I told you to take those penguins to the zoo.” The man responds, “I did take them to the zoo, now I’m taking them to the beach.”

Where do cows go on Saturday nights?
To the MOOO-vies!