Yoga Jokes and Puns

Q: What did the yogi say when his student asked him what he wanted for his birthday?
A: I wish no gifts, only presence.

Two Hindus meet on the street. One asks the other: “Hi, how are you?” The other ones replies: “I’m fine, thanks.” “And how’s your son? Is he still unemployed?” “Yes, he is. But he is meditating now.” “Meditating? What’s that?” “I don’t know. But it’s better than sitting around and do nothing!”

What’s the most romantic kind of yoga position a man can do? Pro-pose.

What goes Ooommm?
A cow doing yoga backwards.

What do you get when you combine Starbucks and a yoga class? I don’t know, but there’s probably a hipster close by.

How do you know when you have taught a good Yoga Class? No one gets bent out of shape.

Q: What did the yoga teacher say to his dog?
A: Nama, stay!

Q: What did the yogi tell his restless student?
A: Don’t just do something – Sit there!

Phoned the gym about an advanced yoga class.
They asked how flexible I was, I said I couldn’t do Tuesdays or Thursdays.

A young woman who was worried about her habit of biting her fingernails down to the quick was advised by a friend to take up yoga. She did, and soon her fingernails were growing normally. Her friend asked her if yoga had totally cured her nervousness. “No,” she replied, “but now I can reach my toe-nails so I bite them instead.”

Four monks were meditating in a monastery. All of a sudden the prayer flag on the roof started flapping. The younger monk came out of his meditation and said: “Flag is flapping” A more experienced monk said: “Wind is flapping.”

A third monk who had been there for more than 20 years said: “Mind is flapping.”
The fourth monk who was the eldest said, visibly annoyed: “Mouths are flapping!”