Wine Jokes and Puns

I was sat with my wife while she sipped on her glass of wine, when she said, “I love you so much, you know. I don’t know how I could ever live without you.” I said, “Is that you or the wine talking?” She said, “It’s me talking to the wine.

I’ve trained my dog to bring me a glass of red wine. It’s a Bordeaux collie.

Have you seen the improv comedy show about drunk women? It’s called “Whose Wine Is It Anyway?” 

If white wine goes with fish, do white grapes go with? Sushi! 

Alcohol should be served in Capri Sun pouches. When you can’t get the straw in the hole you’ve had enough. 

Can you drink alcohol for breakfast? Wine not? 

What is a woman’s idea of a romantic night? Netflix and Chilled wine. 

A bee goes into a bar, it comes out 2 hours later buzzing.

How can you find the girl who drank an entire bottle of merlot? She’s the one dancing like a stripper! 

When do women drink alcohol? Wine O’Clock. 

You know what’s fun about being sober? Nothing. 

What is a woman’s idea of a balanced diet? A glass of wine in each hand!