Alligator Walks Into a Bar Joke

Alligator Walks Into a Bar Joke

A man walks into a bar with his alligator and asks: “Do you serve lawyers here?”. The bartender says: “Yes, of course we do!” The man says, “OK, I’ll have a beer for myself and a lawyer for my alligator.”

New Walks Into a Bar Joke

New Walks Into a Bar Joke

A man walks into a bar, after buying a beer he looks around the bar and sees three men and a dog playing cards. Amazed, the man wanders over and starts watching the game. After watching the game for ten minutes, the man leans over to one of the other player’s and whispers ” Wow, that’s a really smart dog!” The man whispers backs “He isn’t that smart, every time he gets a good hand, he wags his tail!”

A Drunk Walks Into a Bar Joke

A Drunk Walks Into a Bar Joke

A drunk man comes inside a bar and says, “Happy New Year everybody.” and the waiter says, “We are in June you drunk man.” And the drunk man says, “Oh my god my wife is going to kill me I have never been so late in my life!”

Police Walks Into a Bar Joke

Police Walks Into a Bar Joke

After 5 hours sitting in the bar, a man was in no shape to drive, wisely left his car parked and walked home. As he was walking unsteadily along, he was stopped by a policeman. “What are you doing out here at 2 am?”, said the officer. “I’m going to a lecture.”, the man said. And who is going to give a lecture at this hour?”, the cop asked. “My wife!!!” said the man.

This Guy Walks Into a Bar Joke

This Guy Walks Into a Bar Joke

This guy walks into a bar and asks the bartender if he can show him something unbelievable, he gets a free beer? The bartender says alright. So the man puts a hamster and two frogs on the bar and all of a sudden the two frogs jump up and start into a Broadway medley. Well, a man at the end of the bar said, “That’s amazing, I’ll give you $1,000 for the frogs.” The man agreed the guy took off. The bartender said to him, “You could have gotten more for the frogs.” The man said, “Frogs are easy to come by, the hamster’s a ventriloquist.”

Caesar Walks Into a Bar Joke

Caesar Walks Into a Bar Joke

Julius Caesar walks into a bar. “I’ll have a martinus,” he says. The Bartender gives him a puzzled look and asks, “Don’t you mean a ‘martini’?” “Look,” Caesar retorts, “If I wanted a double, I’d have asked for it!”

A Guy Walks Into a Bar Joke

A Guy Walks Into a Bar Joke

A guy walks into a bar and asks for ten shots of the establishments finest single malt scotch. The bartender sets him up, and the guy takes the first shot in the row and pours it on the floor. He then takes the last one in the and does the same. The bartender asks him, “Why did you do that?” And the guy replies, ” Well the first shot always tastes like crap, and the last one always makes me sick!”

Funny Walks Into a Bar Joke

Funny Walks Into a Bar Joke

So a dog walks into a bar and asks the bartender, “Do you have any jobs?” and the bartender says, “Why don’t you try the circus?” The dog replies, “Why would the circus need a bartender?”

Dog Walks Into a Bar Joke

Dog Walks Into a Bar Joke

A dog goes into a bar and orders a martini. The bartender says, “You don’t see a dog in here drinking a martini very often.” The dog says, “At these prices, I’m not surprised.”

Penguin Walks Into a Bar Joke

Penguin Walks Into a Bar Joke

A penguin walks into a bar, goes to the counter, and asks the bartender, “Have you seen my brother?” The bartender says, “I don’t know. What does he look like?”

Neutron Walks Into a Bar Joke

Neutron Walks Into a Bar Joke

A neutron walks into a bar and orders a drink. When the neutron gets his drink, he asks, “Bartender, how much do I owe you?” The bartender replies, “For you, neutron, no charge.”

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