Umbrella Jokes and Puns

Why do people in cities often carry umbrellas?  Because umbrellas can’t walk.

Why did the man put his umbrella away and open his wallet?  He was hoping for some change in the weather.

What do you call Paddington without an umbrella?  A drizzly bear.

What sort of pub should you take an umbrella to?  An Isobar.

Broccoli: I look like a tree. Walnut: I look like a brain. Mushroom: I look like an umbrella. Banana: Dude! Change the topic. 

What’s grey, stands in a river when it rains and doesn’t get wet? An elephant with an umbrella! 

Why does Snoop dog need an umbrella? Fo’ Drizzle. 

Finished my job at the umbrella factory.  I was only covering for someone.

What do you call a parrot with an umbrella?  Polly unsaturated.

When does a detective carry an umbrella? When he’s under cover…

Why does Santa have a really big umbrella? Because of all the rain, dear…