Technology Jokes and Puns

Does anyone remember the Swatch, a watch made in Switzerland? Thank god Croatia didn’t come up with the idea first. Just imagine if someone were to ask you what time is it? “Oh pardon me while I look at my crotch.”

A wife send her husband an sms on a cold winter evening: “Windows frozen”. The husband send answer back: “Pour some warm water over them”. Sometime later husband receives answer from his wife: “The computer is completely fucked now”.

I named my hard drive “dat ass,” so once a month my computer asks if I want to “back dat ass up.”

I decided to make my password “incorrect” because if I type it in wrong, my computer will remind me, “Your password is incorrect.”

How do two programmers make money?
One writes viruses, the other anti-viruses.

Yo momma is so fat, when she sat on an iPod, she made the iPad!

Where’s the best place to hide a body?
Page two of Google.

My Wi-Fi suddenly stop working then I realized that my neighbors have not paid the bill.
How irresponsible people are.

Funny facts about Google users: 50% of people use Google as a search engine. The other 50% of them use it to check and see if their internet is connected.

Q: What do computers eat for a snack?
A: Microchips!

Mother: “Sweetie, make a Christmas wish.”
Girl: “I wish that Santa will send some clothes to those naked girls in papa’s computer.”

Wikipedia: I know everything! Google: I have everything! Facebook: I know everybody!
Internet: Without me you are nothing! Electricity: Keep talking bitches!