Teacher Jokes and Puns

Why did the teacher marry the janitor?
Because he swept her off her feet!

Teacher: ‘Silvia, you know you can’t sleep in my class.’
Silvia: ‘I know. But maybe if you were just a little quieter, I could.’

The little boy wasn’t getting good marks in school. One day he made the teacher quite surprised. He tapped her on the shoulder and said. “I don’t want to scare you, but my daddy says if I don’t get better grades, somebody is going to get a spanking.”

Teacher: You copied from Fred’s exam paper didn’t you?
Pupil: How did you know?
Teacher: Fred’s paper says “I don’t know” and you have put “Me, neither”!

Teacher: You missed school yesterday didn’t you?
Student: Not very much!

My son has a bad cold and won’t be able to come to school today.
School Secretary: Who is this?
This is my mother speaking!

Teacher: “Isn’t it remarkable how quickly the kids learn to drive the car?”
Parent: “Yes, especially considering how slowly they catch on to running the lawnmower and vacuum cleaner.”

Teacher: Cindy, why are you doing your math’s sums on the floor?
Cindy: You told me to do it without using tables!

Teacher: If I had 6 oranges in one hand and 7 apples in the other, what would I have? A: Student: Big hands!

Jimmy: Would I get detention for something I didn’t do?
Teacher: No, of course not.
Jimmy: Okay great, because I didn’t do my homework.

Q: Why did the teacher wear sunglasses?
A: Because his class was so bright!

Q: Why did the teacher write on the window?
A: Because she wanted the lesson to be very clear!