Stupid Jokes and Puns

What do you call a dinosaur with no eyes? Doyathinkhesaurus.

Did you hear about the two guys that stole a calendar? They each got six months.

How do trees get online?
They log in.

What concert costs 45 cents? A 50 Cent concert featuring Nickelback.

What is Harry Potter’s favorite method of getting down a hill? Walking….. JK, rolling.

What is Forrest Gump’s password? 1forrest1.

Andy has 150 candy bars. He eats 125. What does Andy have now?
Andy has diabetes now.

I never wanted to believe that my Dad was stealing from his job as a road worker.
But when I got home, all the signs were there.

Money doesn’t grow on trees, right?
So why does every bank have so many branches?

Whenever I’m sad I just read my blood donor ID. It always says “B
positive”.

Why shouldn’t you write with a broken pencil?
There’s no point.

What’s the difference between a well dressed man on a unicycle and a poorly dressed man on a bike? Attire.