Shopping Sale Joke

Shopping Sale Joke

It was the day of the big sale. Rumors of the sale (and some advertising in the local paper) were the main reason for the long line that formed by 8:30, the store’s opening time, in front of the store. A small man pushed his way to the front of the line, only to be pushed back, amid loud and colorful curses. On the man’s second attempt, he was punched square in the jaw, and knocked around a bit, and then thrown to the end of the line again. As he got up the second time, he said to the person at the end of the line… “That does it! If they hit me one more time, I won’t open the store!”

Wife Shopping Joke

Wife Shopping Joke

“I’d like to buy some gloves for my wife,” the young man said, Eyeing the attractive salesgirl, “but I don’t know her size.” “Will this help?” she asked sweetly, placing her hand in his. “Oh, yes,” he answered. “Her hands are just slightly smaller than yours.” “Will there be anything else?” the salesgirl asked as she wrapped the gloves. “Now that you mention it,” he replied, “she also needs a bra and panties.”

Going Shopping Joke

Going Shopping Joke

“Cash, check or charge?” I asked, after folding items the woman wished to purchase. As she fumbled for her wallet I noticed a remote control for a television set in her purse. “So, do you always carry your TV remote?” I asked. “No,” she replied,” but my husband refused to come shopping with me, and I figured this was the most evil thing I could do to him legally.”

Grocery Shopping Joke

Grocery Shopping Joke

In the frozen foods department of our local grocery store, I noticed a man shopping with his son. As I walked by, he checked something off his list, and I heard him whisper conspiratorially to the child, “You know, if we really mess this up, we’ll never have to do it again.”

Jeans Shopping Joke

Jeans Shopping Joke

A rather large woman was shopping for new jeans. She asked the employee for newly released jeans. The employee asked her what brand she would like. She said “Guess.” The employee said, about 300 pounds.

Supermarket Shopping Joke

Supermarket Shopping Joke

The man approached the very beautiful woman in the large supermarket and asked: “You know, I’ve lost my wife here in the supermarket. Please, can you talk to me for a couple of minutes?” “Why?” “Because every time I talk to a beautiful woman my wife appears out of nowhere.”

Cashier Shopping Joke

Cashier Shopping Joke

I was at the drugstore and noticed a young male cashier staring at the pretty girl in front of me. Her total came to $16.42, and after handing over a $100 bill, she waited for change. “Here you go,” said the cashier, smiling as he returned the proper amount. “Have a great day!” Now I placed my items on the counter. The tally was $32.79, and I too gave the cashier a $100 bill. “I’m sorry, Ma’am. We can’t accept anything larger than a fifty,” he told me, pointing to a sign stating store policy. “But you just accepted that last girl’s hundred,” I reasoned. “I had to,” he said. “It had her phone number on it.”

Shopkeeper Joke

Shopkeeper Joke

A shopkeeper just tried to sell me Supergirl, Lara Croft and Wonder Woman. I think he might be a heroine dealer.

Window Shopping Joke

Window Shopping Joke

Customer: May I try on that dress in the window, please? Clerk: No, ma’am. You’ll have to use the fitting room like everyone else.

Shoplifter Joke

Shoplifter Joke

A shoplifter was caught red-handed trying to steal a watch from an exclusive jewelry store. “Listen,” said the shoplifter, “I know you don’t want any trouble either. What do you say I just buy the watch, and we forget about this?” The manager agreed and wrote up the sales slip. The crook looked at the slip and said, “This is a little more than I intended to spend. Can you show me something less expensive?”

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