Sexist Jokes and Puns

At a dancing party a shy boy approached a girl and asked, “Will you dance with me, please?” The arrogant girl says, “I don’t dance with a kid.” The taken back boy apologized, “I am sorry, I did not realize you were pregnant.”

What is the difference between men and women?

A woman wants one man to satisfy her every need.

A man wants every woman to satisfy his one need.

How do you get your dishwasher to work?

Slap her!

MOVIE RATINGS EXPLAINED: G: Nobody gets the girl. PG: The good guy gets the girl. R: The bad guy gets the girl. X: Everybody gets the girl!

Officer: “Madam, swimming is prohibited in this lake.”
Lady: “Why didn’t you tell me when I was removing my clothes?”
Officer: “Well, that’s not prohibited.”

A guy came home to his wife and said to her, “Guess what? I’ve found a great job. A 10 AM start, 2 PM finish, no overtime, no weekends and it pays $600 a week!” “That’s great,” his wife said. “Yeah, I thought so too,” he agreed. “You start on Monday.”

Girl: “Girls are better than boys.”
Boy: “Then why did God make boys first?”
Girl: “Duh, you have to have a rough draft before the final copy.”

A woman has the last word in any argument.

Anything a man says after that is the beginning of a new argument.

What’s six inches long, two inches wide, and drives women wild? Money.

Q: What did one saggy boob say to the other saggy boob?
A: “We better get some support before someone thinks we’re nuts!”

When wearing a bikini, women reveal 90 % of their body… men are so polite they only look at the covered parts.

Why do men ask for a woman’s hand in marriage?

Because they are tired of using their own.