Sexist Jokes and Puns

At a dancing party a shy boy approached a girl and asked, “Will you dance with me, please?” The arrogant girl says, “I don’t dance with a kid.” The taken back boy apologized, “I am sorry, I did not realize you were pregnant.”

What is the difference between men and women?

A woman wants one man to satisfy her every need.

A man wants every woman to satisfy his one need.

How do you get your dishwasher to work?

Slap her!

MOVIE RATINGS EXPLAINED: G: Nobody gets the girl. PG: The good guy gets the girl. R: The bad guy gets the girl. X: Everybody gets the girl!

Officer: “Madam, swimming is prohibited in this lake.”
Lady: “Why didn’t you tell me when I was removing my clothes?”
Officer: “Well, that’s not prohibited.”

A guy came home to his wife and said to her, “Guess what? I’ve found a great job. A 10 AM start, 2 PM finish, no overtime, no weekends and it pays $600 a week!” “That’s great,” his wife said. “Yeah, I thought so too,” he agreed. “You start on Monday.”

Girl: “Girls are better than boys.”
Boy: “Then why did God make boys first?”
Girl: “Duh, you have to have a rough draft before the final copy.”

A woman has the last word in any argument.

Anything a man says after that is the beginning of a new argument.

What’s six inches long, two inches wide, and drives women wild? Money.

Q: What did one saggy boob say to the other saggy boob?
A: “We better get some support before someone thinks we’re nuts!”

The Queen of England was showing the Archbishop of Canterbury around the Royal Stables when one of the stallions close by farted so loudly it couldn’t be ignored. “Oh dear,” said the Queen, “How embarrassing. I’m frightfully sorry about that.” “It’s quite understandable,” said the archbishop, and after a moment added, “as a matter of fact I thought it was the horse.”

When wearing a bikini, women reveal 90 % of their body… men are so polite they only look at the covered parts.