Science Jokes and Puns

Higgs Boson goes to the Vatican. The pope says “What you doing here Higgs?”
Higgs replies “You can’t have mass without me!”

Two atoms are walking along. One of them says:
“Oh, no, I think I lost an electron.”
“Are you sure?”
“Yes, I’m positive.”

A neutron walked into a bar and asked, “How much for a drink?”
The bartender replied, “For you, no charge.”

When Magnesium and Oxygen started dating I was like, “O MG!”

Where does bad light land?
In Prism.

Why did the chicken cross the Möbius strip? To get to the same side.

A science teacher tells his class, “Oxygen is a must for breathing and life. It was discovered in 1773.” A blonde student responds, “Thank God I was born after 1773! Otherwise I would have died without it.”

Q: Why can’t you trust an atom?
A: Because they make up everything.

“Yesterday, scientists revealed that beer contains small traces of female hormones. To prove their theory, the scientists fed 100 men 12 pints of beer and observed that 100% of them gained weight, talked excessively without making sense, became emotional, couldn’t drive, and refused to apologize when wrong. No further testing is planned.”

Old chemistry teachers never die, they just fail to react.

How should chemistry be studied?
Periodically.

Silver and Gold walk into a bar.
Bartender says “Ey you, get outta here!”
Gold leaves the bar.