Rugby Jokes and Puns

What do you call an Englishman holding a bottle of champagne after the Rugby World Cup Final? Waiter.

A man went to the doctor one day and said: “I’ve just been playing Rugby and when I got back I found that when I touched my legs, my arms, my head, my tummy and everywhere else, it really hurt.” So the doctor said: “You’ve broken your finger.”

A man went to the doctor one day and said: “I’ve just been playing Rugby and when I got back I found that when I touched my legs, my arms, my head, my tummy and everywhere else, it really hurt.” So the doctor said: “You’ve broken your finger.”

Rugby player in Chinese restaurant: “Waiter, these noodles are a bit crunchy.” Waiter: “That’s because they’re the chopsticks, sir.”

Q. What do you call 15 guys sitting around the TV watching the Rugby World Cup final?
A. The American Rugby team.

Q. What do you call a South African holding a bottle of champagne after the Rugby World Cup Final?
A. Waiter.

What is the greatest year in French rugby history? Next year.

Guy was in a bar watching an English test and he had his dog with him. Early in the game Wilkinson kicks a penalty and the dog goes nuts, he jumps on the bar, stands up on his hind legs and spins around three times while barking loudly. The Barman says to the guy “That’s amazing. What does he do when England scores a try?” And the guy replies “I don’t know I’ve only had him three years”.

The All Blacks were playing England, and after the half-time whistle blew they found themselves ahead 50-0, Jonah Lomu getting eight tries. The rest of the team decided to head for the pub instead of playing the second half, leaving Jonah to go out on his own. “No worries,” Jonah told them, “I’ll join you later and tell you what happened.” After the game Jonah headed for the pub where he told his teammates the final score: 95-3. “What!!!!” said a furious Josh Kronfeld, “How did you let them get three points??!” Jonah replied apologetically, “I was sent off with 20 minutes to go.”

The rugby coach takes the Springboks out for training and tells everyone to assume their normal position. So they all go and stand behind the goalposts and wait for the conversion.