Psychiatrist and a psychologist joke

Psychiatrist and a psychologist joke

What is the difference between a psychiatrist and a psychologist? If you say to a psychiatrist “I hate my mother,” he will ask “Why do you say that?” while a psychologist will say “Thank you for sharing that with us.”

Two Psychologists Joke

Two Psychologists Joke

Two psychologists meet at their twentieth college reunion. One of them looks like he just graduated, while the other psychologist looks old, worried and withered. The older looking one asks the other, “What’s your secret? Listening to other people’s problems every day, all day long, for years on end, has made an old man of me.” The younger looking one replies, “Who listens?”

Psychologist at a party joke

Psychologist at a party joke

A psychologist is at a party talking with a small group of people, when a man comes up behind him and taps him on the shoulder. The psychologist turns around and the man hauls off and decks him. The psychologist gets up, brushes himself off, turns to the group and declares: “That’s his problem.”

Psychiatry Joke about elevators

Psychiatry Joke about elevators

An elevator walks into a psychiatrist office and says, hey Doc I think I’m out of control. The Doctor replies you’re an elevator in your line of work you’re going to have your ups and downs!

Psychotherapy Joke

Psychotherapy Joke

Why is psychotherapy a lot quicker for a man then for a women? Because when it’s time to go back to childhood, a man is already there.

Funny Psychiatry Joke

Funny Psychiatry Joke

Last week my shrink asked me if I heard voices in my head. I told her no, but that I could hear the voices in HER head. She didn’t laugh, so I diagnosed her with having HDD. She asked what that was? I told her that HDD was humor deficit disorder! And she had a bad case of it.

Psychiatry Waiting Room Joke

In a psychiatrist’s waiting room two patients are having a conversation. One says to the other, “Why are you here?”
The second answers, “I’m Napoleon, so the doctor told me to come here.” The first is curious and asks, “How do you know that you’re Napoleon?” The second responds, “God told me I was.” At this point, a patient on the other side of the room shouts, “NO I DIDN’T!”

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