Nurse Joke - 4

Nurse Joke – 4

What did the nurse say when she found a rectal thermometer in her pocket?
Some asshole has my pen.

Nurse Joke - 3

Nurse Joke – 3

When I went to get my vaccinations the young nurse told me she was very nervous as it was her first time.
I told her to give it her best shot.

Nurse Joke - 9

Nurse Joke – 9

Doctor: “You look exhausted.” Blonde: “I am. When your nurse phoned me yesterday and told me that I have to come today for a blood test, I spent the whole night studying for it.”
A tourist is in a hospital with 60 degree burns. The doctor says, “Give him two Viagra’s.” The nurse asks, “Do you think that will help?” The doctor replies, “No but it will keep the sheets off his legs!”

Hospital Nurse Joke

Hospital Nurse Joke

I had to take my son to hospital after he swallowed ten quarters. He was rushed to surgery. After half an hour I saw a nurse so I asked her how he was. She said, “There’s no change yet.”

Silly Nurse Joke

Silly Nurse Joke

I went to casualty yesterday and said to the nurse, “I’ve been stung by a wasp, have you got anything for it?”
She asked, “Whereabouts is it?” I said, “I don’t know, it could be miles away by now.”

Nurse Pun

Nurse Pun

When a hospital runs out of maternity nurses do they have a mid-wife crisis?

Funny Nurse Joke

Funny Nurse Joke

The doctor says to the blonde nurse, “Nurse, did you take the patient’s temperature?” The nurse replies, “No, is it missing?”

Nurse Joke - 10

Nurse Joke – 10

A retired man who volunteers to entertain patients in nursing homes and hospitals went to one local hospital in Brooklyn and took his portable keyboard along. He told some jokes and sang some funny songs at patients’ bedsides. When he finished he said, in farewell, “I hope you get better.” One elderly gentleman replied, “I hope you get better, too.”

Nurse Hiccup Joke

Nurse Hiccup Joke

A man rushed into a hospital and asked a nurse for a cure for hiccups… Grabbing a cup of water, the nurse quickly splashed it into the man’s face. “What did you that for?” screamed the man. “You don’t have the hiccups now, do you?” said the nurse. “No,” replied the man. “My wife out in the car has them.”

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