Nigerian Money Joke

Nigerian Money Joke

Akpos asks a lawyer for advice: Akpos: Mister Black, please help me. My neighbour won’t give my money back, and I really need them. Lawyer: No problem. Just provide the evidence he actually took that money. Akpos: But I have no evidence. Lawyer: That’s no problem. How much does he owe you? Akpos: $600. Lawyer: Then just text him and ask him to pay you your $2000 back. Akpos: Bu he only owes me $600. Lawyer: That’s what he will answer, and you will get evidence.

Funny Nigerian Joke

Funny Nigerian Joke

UCHE: Mommy, can I go to Chidera’s house?
MOMMY: No!
UCHE: Why?
MOMMY: No fuel.
UCHE: Ahn ahn! I’m using my legs.
MOMMY: If you get missing, is it not a car we are going to use to find you?

Nigerian University Joke

Nigerian University Joke

Akpos the lecturer in Gwagalada, University of Abuja decided to give his students a test. He asked them to write the answers as he read out the questions. Instructions says: Canceling answers not allowed) Akpors the Lecturer: Questi on 1: What’s your favorite food? [10 mrks] Female students were writing, Pizza, fried rice, Hamburger, ice cream, sharwama and all sorts of Chinese cuisine….. Lecturer Akpors: Question 2: How do you prepare the food? [50 marks] Huh!! immediately, the female students started cancelling and changing the foods to, beans, cocoyam, & abacha, bolee and porridge yam, indomine, white rice with no soup!!

Nigerian Couple Joke

Nigerian Couple Joke

A newly married Nigerian couple brought a female house help from the village to assist in keeping their home tidy, so they would have time for their careers and other more important things. One day, Oga decided to give his wife a surprise package. He moulded a big heart (to represent love) with the assistance of the house help, a project which took almost the whole day. Madam came back to meet the house help sleeping and snoring: MADAM: Will you get up now! Stupid girl! What have you been doing since morning? HOUSE HELP: Madam welcome. No vex abeg. Me and Oga dey make love since morning. Na just now now we finish he say make I lie down small. The house help is now on admission at the Lagos Hospital.

Nigerian Criminal Joke

Nigerian Criminal Joke

Three criminals are in the court for getting their punishment. The judge says: I will give it corresponding to the number of things you have stolen. The first man received just a year for a can of sardine. The second one got 30 years for taking a tray of eggs. Akpos appeared to be the least lucky, as he took a bag of rice…

Nigerian Cinema Joke

Nigerian Cinema Joke

Akpos is in the cinema with his friends. All of them are already watching a movie while he can’t get a ticket. When he comes up to the cash register for the sixth time, a manager asks him. Manager: Sir, I am sorry to interrupt, but it’s already the sixth ticket you buy tonight. Why do you need so many? Akpos: Well, I don’t see this many, but the stupid man by the entrance keeps tearing it up!

Nigerian Wife Joke

Nigerian Wife Joke

A pissed off wife calls her husband. Wife: Where on earth are you? Husband: Don’t be so angry, dear. Remember an old antique store downtown you took me to last week? Wife (melting): Yes, love. Husband: The one where you pointed at a beautiful and quite expensive tiara and told me you really wanted it. Wife: Of course, I do (eyes full of hope). Husband: Well, then don’t worry. Because I am in the car repair shop right next to it.

Nigerian Sunday School Joke

Nigerian Sunday School Joke

Among other funny Christian jokes of Akpos is the one called “Many are called” Akpos is at a Sunday school class. A taught is checking how people learned the Bible verses at home. So he starts: Teacher: Akpos, finish the sentence: “Many are called but…” Akpos: … but few have credit to call you back.”

Nigerian School Joke

Nigerian School Joke

Akpos came from school looking confused. His mother asks him: Mother. Why is it that you seem puzzled? Was there anything wrong with your paper today? Akpos: Yes, mum. The teacher asked what the past form of the word “think” was. I could not remember it, so I spent much time on it. I thought and thought, and decided that the right answer was “thinked.”

Nigerian Christian Joke

Nigerian Christian Joke

Akpos was taking a walk in the wild places. Suddenly, a bush moved, and he saw a lion running toward him. Being a Christian, he decided to pray and ask God to save him. After a short but passionate prayer, he opened his eyes only to notice a lion kneeling down and praying with its eyes closed. Puzzled Akpos asked the lion: – So, are you also a Christian, right? The lion opened its eyes and shushed at Akpos: – Don’t you know one has to say a prayer before having lunch?!

Nigerian Police Joke

Nigerian Police Joke

I went to the police station to certify my document. On arrival, I met one of the policemen reading the bible, specifically Genesis, I was so impressed so I asked him, “Officer, who killed Abel, Adam’s son?” He raised his head, looked at my face with dismay and said, “I don’t know, ask Sgt Asare, he is in charge of murder cases.”

Nigerian Stammerer Joke

Nigerian Stammerer Joke

One day, a man who is a chronic stammerer, was looking for a particular street in lagos and could not find it so he decided to walk up to a brick layer and ask him for directions and he started asking: Peee peee please ay ay ay ay am loo oo loooo loooking for iiiiikorodu ro ro road. The bricklayer replied to the stammerer: Jus jus just fofo fo follow the the nes nes 2 2 streeet and and turn right thats ikorodu ikorodu road! The stammerer got angry and gave the bricklayer a hot slap shouting are are u joking joking with me? The bricklayer surprised , replied : No I am a stammerer like you!!!!

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