Medical Patient Joke

Medical Patient Joke

It had been a long time—seven years to be exact—since my friend Brian had been to see his doctor. So the nurse told him that if he wanted to make an appointment, he would have to be reprocessed as a new patient. “Okay,” said Brian, “reprocess me.” “I’m sorry,” she told him. “We’re not accepting any new patients.”

Medical Joke - 3

Medical Joke – 3

Doctor: You only have six months to live.
Man: I can’t pay the bill.
Doctor: Alright, I’ll give you another six months.

Medical Joke - 4

Medical Joke – 4

A man goes to the doctor and says to the doctor:
“It hurts when I press here” (pressing his side)
“And when I press here” (pressing the other side)
“And here” (his leg)
“And here, here and here” (his other leg, and both arms)
So the doctor examined him all over and finally discovered what was wrong…
“You’ve got a broken finger!”

Funniest Medical Joke

Funniest Medical Joke

The man told his doctor that he wasn’t able to do all the things around the house that he used to do. When the examination was complete, he said, “Now, Doc, I can take it. Tell me in plain English what is wrong with me.” “Well, in plain English,” the doctor replied, “you’re just lazy.” “Okay,” said the man. “Now give me the medical term so I can tell my wife.”

Medical Drug Joke

Medical Drug Joke

A scientist tells a pharmacist, “Give me some prepared tablets of acetylsalicylic acid.” “Do you mean aspirin?” asks the pharmacist. The scientist slaps his forehead. “That’s it!” he says. “I can never remember the name.”

Medical Joke - 5

Medical Joke – 5

A distraught man ran into the doctor’s office.
“Doc!” The man screamed, “I’ve lost my memory!”
“When did this happen?” asked the doctor.
The man looked at him and said, “When did what happen?”

Medical Joke - 10

Corny Medical Joke

As a doctor was examining his patient, he asked, “Any coughing, wheezing or shortness of cash?”

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