Love Jokes and Puns

What happened when two vampires went on a blind date? It was love at first bite!

What’s a man’s definition of a romantic evening? Sex.

Wife: “How would you describe me?” Husband: “ABCDEFGHIJK.” Wife: “What does that mean?” Husband: “Adorable, beautiful, cute, delightful, elegant, fashionable, gorgeous, and hot.” Wife: “Aw, thank you, but what about IJK?”

I like to show my girlfriend who’s the boss in our house. I do this by holding a mirror up to her face.

A teenager is a hopeless romantic who never falls in love more than twice a week.

Never laugh at your girlfriends choices… your one of them.

Do you believe in love at first sight, or do I have to walk by again?

HOW TO IMPRESS A WOMAN
Compliment her, cuddle her, kiss her, caress her, love her, stroke her, comfort her, protect her, hug her, wine and dine her, buy gifts for her, listen to her, respect her, stand by her, support her, go to the ends of the earth for her.
HOW TO IMPRESS A MAN
Arrive naked… with beer.

Women are like telephones. They love to be held. They love to be talked to. But, if you press the wrong button, you’re disconnected.

After a quarrel, a husband said to his wife, “You know, I was a fool when I married you.” She replied, “Yes, dear, but I was in love and didn’t notice.”

Whats the difference between love and marriage? Love is one long sweet dream, and marriage is the alarm clock.

My husband, a certified public accountant, works 15-hour days for the first few months of the year. In spite of his hectic schedule, he took time out to order me flowers for Valentine’s Day. While pondering what sweet endearment to write on the card, he obviously began thinking of the many hours of work still ahead of him. His note read: “Roses are red, violets are blue. If I weren’t thinking of you, I’d probably be through.”