Lamb Jokes and Puns

A man in a movie theater notices what looks like a lamb sitting next to him. “Are you a lamb?” asked the man, surprised. “Yes.” “What are you doing at the movies?” The lamb replied, “Well, I liked the book.” 

When a tourist coach passed through a small country town in Australia one of the passengers noticed a lamb tied to a lamppost on the corner in the main street. “Oh that,” said the guide, “that’s the Recreation Centre” 

Two sheep herders are flying the herd to a new farm. Suddenly, the engine fails and the plane begins to fall quickly to the ground. “Quick! Grab a parachute and jump!,” said the first herder “What about the sheep?”, said the second herder “Fuck the sheep!” the first herder replied “Do you think we have time?” asked the second herder 

Why did the lamb call the police? He had been fleeced.

What do you call a lamb covered in chocolate? A Candy Baa. 

What do you get if you cross an angry sheep and a moody cow? An animal that’s in a baaaaaaaad moooooood. 

What do you call a lamb with a machine gun? A b-aa-aa-aa-d situation. 

What do you get if you cross a boa and a sheep? A wrap-around sweater.

How do lamb greet each other at Christmas? Merry Christmas to Ewe! 

How do lamb in Mexico say Merry Christmas? “Fleece Navidad!” 

How many lamb does it take to knit a sweater? Don’t be silly – lamb can’t knit! 

What animal sounds like a lamb but isn’t? A baaaa-boon!