Harry Potter Jokes and Puns

Why do you call it when a wand goes missing at Hogwarts? A Hogwarts Mystery!

What do you call a gardener that has a beard? Hairy Potter.

Snape: VOLDEMORTS COMING!!!! Dumbledore: Are you serious? Snape: No, I’m Severus. 

Why did the Slytherins cross the road twice? Because they are double-crossers.

What’s the best thing to use to catch fish at Hogwarts pond? A Griphook.

How do Death Eaters freshen their breath? With Dementos.

What’s the first thing wizards do in the morning? They wake up.

Why did the quidditch player travel on a broom? He didn’t have a vacuum cleaner.

Why was Draco’s shirt covered with dirt? He spent the day Slytherin

How did Aragog get in touch with other spiders? The world wide WEB

What does Aragog do on his day off? He goes fly fishing.

Where can you find Dumbledore’s Army? Up his sleevy.