Friend Jokes and Puns

DEFINITION OF TRUE FRIENDSHIP: Walking into a person’s house and your Wi-Fi connects automatically.

The difference between “Girlfriend” and “Girl Friend” is that little space in-between we call the “Friend Zone”.

When you are in Hospital, your friends ask – “Hey, how are you dear?”
But your best friend asks, “Hey buddy, how is the nurse?”

Three guys, stranded on a desert island, find a magic lantern containing a genie, who grants them each one wish.
The first guy wishes he was off the island and back home. The second guy wishes the same. The third guy says “I’m lonely. I wish my friends were back here.”

Friends wave red flags when you have a bad idea. Best friends pick up a video camera.

Friendship between women:
A woman didn’t come home one night. The next day she told her husband she had slept over at a friend’s house. The man called his wife’s 10 best friends. None of them knew about it.
Friendship between men:
A man didn’t come home one night. The next day he told his wife that he had slept over at a friend’s house. The woman called her husband’s 10 best friends. Eight of them confirmed that he had slept over, and two claimed that he was still there.

TRUE FRIENDSHIP: Walking into a person’s house and your Wi-Fi connects automatically.

It’s always a good idea to make friends with babies. That’s free cake once a year for a lifetime.

Everyone has a friend who laughs funnier than he jokes.

I’m going to change my Facebook name to Benefits. Now, when someone adds me on Facebook, it will say: you are now friends with Benefits.

Two old friends met by chance on the street. After chatting for some time, one said to the other, “I’m terribly sorry, but I’ve forgotten your name. You’ll need to tell me.” The other stared at him thoughtfully for a long time, then replied, “How soon do you need to know?”

“What shall we play today?” said Florence to her best friend Jenny. “Let’s play schools,” said Jenny. “OK!” said Florence. “But I’m going to be absent.”