Fortune Teller Jokes and Puns

What do you call a fat psychic?
A four chin teller.

“Five dollars for one question!” said the woman to the fortune teller.
“That’s very expensive, isn’t it?”
“Next question!”

What kind of ad does a fortune teller put out?
“Crystal Ball for sale. £50, but you will haggle me down to £30”

Two psychics meet on the street. One says “lovely weather at the moment”.
The other says, “Yes, reminds me of the summer of 2075”.

Two fortune tellers meet on the street. One says to the other, “You’re fine, how am I?”

I almost went out with a psychic once, but she dumped me before we met.

Where did the fortune teller go on her vacation? To Palm Beach.

Why didn’t the fortune tellers form a union? Because, despite being a spirited group, it soon became crystal clear that there was no future in it.

“Crystal Ball for sale. £50, but you will haggle me down to £30”

A friend started a career as a psychic but gave it up. Couldn’t see any future in it.

If it’s the Psychic Network why do they need a phone number?

What do you call a yak fortune teller? Zodi-yak.