Alcoholic father joke

Alcoholic father joke

“Daddy, what is an alcoholic?” “Do you see those 4 trees, son? An alcoholic would see 8 trees.” “Um, Dad – there are only 2 trees.”

Father swear jar joke

Father swear jar joke

The biggest change after having kids was putting a swear jar in the house. Whenever I say a bad word, I have to put a dollar in the jar, and at the end of every month, I take all that money and buy myself a nice steak for being such a cool dad.

Father Jokes - 1

Father Jokes – 1

Dad: Let me see your report card.
Son: I don’t have it.
Dad: Why not?
Son: My friend just borrowed it.
He wants to scare his parents.

Silly father joke

Silly father joke

“Dad, can you make me a sandwich, please?” Dad: “Abrakadabra, you are now a sandwich!”

Father Jokes - 3

Father Jokes – 3

Science teacher: When is the boiling point reached?
Science student: When my father sees my report card!

Father Jokes - 4

Father Jokes – 4

A girl noticed her dad standing on the bathroom scale, sucking in his stomach.
“Haha¬¬! That’s not going to help,” she said.
“Sure, it does,” he said. “It’s the only way I can see the numbers on the scale.”

Father Jokes - 6

Father Jokes – 6

Dad: Son, if you keep pulling my hair, you will have to get off my shoulders.
Kid: But, Dad, I’m just trying to get my gum back!

Father joke about eating a bug

Father joke about eating a bug

“Dad, are bugs good to eat?” asked the boy. “Let’s not talk about such things at the dinner table, son,” his father replied. After dinner the father inquired, “Now, son, what did you want to ask me?” “Oh, nothing,” the boy said. “There was a bug in your soup, but now it’s gone.”

Good father joke

Good father joke

Being a great father is like shaving. No matter how good you shaved today, you have to do it again tomorrow.

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