Funny Family Jokes-13

Funny Family Joke – 14

A father and son are out shopping for Christmas presents for their family. The son asks, “What present are my sister and I going to get?” The dad answers, “I got you guys an iPad and iPod.” “Wow, thanks,” the son replies, “What will you give mom?” The dad says, “Your mom is getting an iRon.”

Funny Family Jokes-18

Funny Family Joke – 19

A 7-year-old and a 4-year-old are in their bedroom. “You know what?” says the 7-year-old, “I think it’s time we started swearing. When we go downstairs for breakfast, I’ll swear first, then you.” “Okay,” replies the 4-year-old. In the kitchen, when the mother asks the 7-year-old what he wants for breakfast, he answers, “I’ll have Coco Pops, bitch.” *WHACK* He goes flying out of his chair, crying his eyes out. The mother looks at the 4-year-old & sternly asks, “And what do you want?” “Dunno,” he replies, “But it won’t be fucking Coco Pops.”

Funny Family Jokes-19

Funny Family Joke – 20

Little Johnny’s new baby brother is screaming up a storm. He asks his mom, “Where’d we get him?” His mother replies, “He came from Heaven, Johnny.” Johnny says, “Wow! I can see why they threw him out!”

Funny Family Jokes-26

Funny Family Joke – 26

The bride, upon her engagement, goes to her mother and says, “I’ve found a man just like Father!” Her mother replies, “So what do you want from me, sympathy?”

Funny Family Jokes-28

Funny Family Joke – 28

The worst place to have a heart attack is during a game of charades. …Especially if the people you are playing with, are really bad guessers.

Funny Family Jokes-35

Funny Family Joke – 35

A wife sending a short message to her husband:
It was just said on the news that they found a hideous corpse with a hollow head, a cigar among ugly rotten teeth and a bottle of liquor in his hand. I’m worried about you! Please, give me a ring…

Funny Family Jokes-39

Funny Family Joke – 39

I’m going to watch my wedding video later ‘backwards’. I love the end bit when she takes the ring off, goes back down the aisle and jumps in the car.

Funny Family Jokes-46

Funny Family Joke – 44

Walking up to a department store’s fabric counter, a pretty girl asked, “I want to buy this material for a new dress. How much does it cost?”

“Only one kiss per yard,” replied the smirking male clerk.

“That’s fine,” replied the girl. “I’ll take ten yards.”

With expectation and anticipation written all over his face, the clerk hurriedly measured out and wrapped the cloth, then held it out teasingly. The girl snapped up the package and pointed to a little old man standing beside her. “Grandpa will pay the bill,” she smiled.

Funny Family Jokes-51

Funny Family Joke – 49

A young man looking to get married asked his friend. “Every woman I bring home to meet my parents, my mother doesn’t like.” “Oh, that’s easy,” his pal replied, “All you have to do is find someone who is just like your mother.” “I did that already,” he said, “and that one my father didn’t like!”

Funny Family Jokes-53

Funny Family Joke – 51

One morning a little girl ran inside and said “Daddy, Daddy my sister and the man you hired last week are up on the hay loft in the barn on all that new hay we just bought. She has her dress up and he has his pants down. I think they are about to piss all over that new hay!”

Funny Family Jokes-55

Funny Family Joke – 53

“Do you believe in life after death?” the boss asked one of his employees. “Yes, Sir,” the new recruit replied. “Well, then, that makes everything just fine,” the boss went on. “After you left early yesterday to go to your grandmother’s funeral, she stopped in to see you.”

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