
To all the dog lovers out in the world, here are the funny dog jokes and puns. Also, check out our animal jokes and other funny jokes categories.
Why do men chase after women they don’t intend to marry? Well why do dogs chase after cars they don’t intend to drive?
As the stranger enters a country store, he spots a sign: “Danger! Beware of Dog!” Inside, he sees a harmless old hound asleep in the middle of the floor. “Is that the dog we’re supposed to beware of?” he asks the owner. “That’s him,” comes the reply. “He doesn’t look dangerous to me. Why would you post that sign?” “Before I posted that sign, people kept tripping over him.”
I wonder if Superman ever put glasses on Lois Lane’s dog and she was like, “I’ve never seen this dog before. Is this a new dog?”
A woman called our airline customer-service desk asking if she could take her dog on board. “Sure,” I said, “as long as you provide your own kennel.” I further explained that the kennel needed to be large enough for the dog to stand up, sit down, turn around, and roll over. The customer was flummoxed: “I’ll never be able to teach him all of that by tomorrow!”
What do you do when you find a 250 pound dog sleeping on your bed? Quietly go sleep on the sofa.
The official dogs’ song? “Every snack you take, every food you make, every can you shake, every seal you break, I’ll be watching you….