
Flower and Burglar joke
What do you get if you cross a bunch of
Flowers with a burglar?
Robbery with violets!
Enjoy these funny crime jokes and puns. There are some criminals behind bars for doing silly things. Also check out our other funny jokes categories.
What do you get if you cross a bunch of
Flowers with a burglar?
Robbery with violets!
Josh: The crime in my neighborhood is really bad. Rachel: How bad is it? Josh: It’s so bad, the other night I forgot my key to the house and the burglar had to let me in.
A shoplifter was caught red-handed trying to steal a watch from an exclusive jewelry store. “Listen,” said the
shoplifter, “I know you don’t want any trouble either. What do you say I just buy the watch, and we forget about this?” The manager agreed and wrote up the sales slip. The crook looked at the slip and said, “This is a little more than I intended to spend. Can you show me something less expensive?”
Victim (to mugger): But my watch isn’t any good, it only has sentimental value.
Mugger: That’s all right. I’m sentimental.
Today, I gave a homeless man a watch, a phone, and everything in my wallet. You won’t believe how happy I felt after he put his knife back in his pocket
Dad, said Fred to his father, who was a bank robber. “I need $50 for the school trip tomorrow.” “OK, son,” said his dad, “I ll get you the cash when the bank closes.”
A murderer, sitting in the electric chair, was about to be executed. “Have you any last requests? asked the chaplain. “Yes,” replied the murderer. “Will you hold my hand?”
A defendant is not happy with how things are going in court,
so he gives the judge a hard time.
Judge: “Where do you work?” Defendant: “Here and there.”
Judge: “What do you do for a living?” Defendant: “This and that.”
Judge: “Take him away.” Defendant: “Wait; when will I get out?”
Judge: “Sooner or later.”
When a neighbor’s home was burglarized, I decided to be more safety conscious. But my measly front-door lock wasn’t going to stop anyone, so I hung this sign outside: “Nancy, don’t come in. The snake is loose. Mom.”
Policeman: Did you know your vehicle was reported stolen?
Criminal: It wasn’t when I took it.