Corny Jokes and Puns

I went to my sister’s house and saw her packing a suitcase. I asked, “What’s going on?” She said, “I’m feeling homesick.” I suggested, “But you’re at your home now.” She replied, “I know. I’m sick of it!”

Q:Why is a doctor always calm.
A: Because it has a lot of patients.

Q: Why do French people eat snails?

A: Because they don’t like fast food.

I used to think maths was useless, but then one day I realized that decimals had a point.

What does a nut say when it sneezes?

Cashew.

Why do seagulls fly over the sea?

Because if they flew over the bay they’d be called bagels.

Q: Why did the cookie go to the hospital?
A: Because he felt crummy

Why did the golfer wear two pairs of pants?

In case he got a hole in one.

What happens to a grape when an elephant steps on it? It lets out a little whine.

What’s orange and sounds like a parrot?

A carrot.

Why did the bicycle fall over?

It was two tired!

Q: What’s the longest word in the dictionary?

A: Smile! Because it has a mile in it!