Computer Jokes and Puns

How do you know if a blonde has been using a computer? There’s whiteout on the screen.

A mom texts, “Hi! Son, what does IDK, LY, & TTYL mean?” He texts back, “I Don’t Know, Love You, & Talk To You Later.” The mom texts him, “It’s ok, don’t worry about it. I’ll ask your sister, love you too.”

Q: Is Google male or female?
A: Female, because it doesn’t let you finish a sentence before making a suggestion.

A man using Apple Maps walks into a bar…or maybe a hotel. Or possibly a church

Why can’t cats use computers?

Because they only want to chase the mouse.

A blonde goes into a computer store and asks the clerk, “Where do you keep the curtains for computers?” The clerk answers with a puzzled face, “Curtains for computers? You don’t need curtains for computers.” The blonde’s eyes widen and she shakes her head as she answers, “Hello!?? My computer has Windows!!”

Q: How many programmers does it take to change a light bulb?
A: None. It’s a hardware problem.

Two geeks are talking over lunch.

The first guy says, “You wouldn’t believe what happened this morning. A girl rode up to me on her bike, took off all her clothes, and said ‘Take whatever you want!’ … So I took the bike”

The second guy says, “Good choice, her clothes probably wouldn’t have fit you.”

What do you call a woman you married off the internet?

Wife-I.

Why are PCs like air conditioners? They stop working properly if you open Windows!

A man is smoking a cigarette and blowing smoke rings into the air.  His girlfriend becomes irritated with the smoke and says, “Can’t you see the warning on the cigarette pack?  Smoking is hazardous to your health!”

To which the man replies, “I am a programmer.  We don’t worry about warnings; we only worry about errors.”

Luke: What did the turkey say to the computer?
Will: What?
Luke: “Google, google, google.”