Chuck Norris Jokes and Puns

Chuck Norris beat the sun in a starting contest.

Chuck Norris can play the violin with a piano.

When Chuck Norris was born he drove his mom home from the hospital.

Chuck Norris can win an argument with his wife.

Chuck Norris can speak French… In Russian.

Chuck Norris once climbed Mt. Everest in 15 minutes, 14 of which he was building a snowman at the bottom.

Chuck can set ants on fire with a magnifying glass. At night.

Chuck Norris can hear sign language.

Once a cobra bit Chuck Norris’ leg. After five days of excruciating pain, the cobra died.

Chuck Norris has a diary. It’s called the Guinness Book of World Records.

Chuck Norris can squeeze orange juice out of a lemon.

Chuck Norris once fried an egg on snow.