Cat Jokes and Puns
Everyone loves funny cat jokes and puns! Send some to your friends to make them laugh. Also check out our other funny jokes.
Funny Cat Joke – 9
Where does a cat go when it loses its tail?
The retail store.
Funny Cat Joke – 7
Q. There were four cats in a boat, one jumped out. How many were left?
A. None. They were all copy cats!
Funny Cat Joke – 2
Q: What is it called when a cat wins a dog show? A: A CAT-HAS-TROPHY!
Funny Cat Joke – 3
A teacher asked, why is your cat with u in school? A kid says (crying), “I heard daddy tell mommy, I’m eating that p*ssy when the kids leave!”
Funny Cat Joke – 5
They make cat food out of cow, fish, turkey, chicken & lamb meat—but not mouse meat, which is probably all cats want.
Funny Cat Joke – 10
A man absolutely hated his wife’s cat and decided to get rid of him one day by driving him 20 blocks from his home and leaving him at the park. As he arrived home, the cat was walking up the driveway.
The next day he decided to drive the cat 40 blocks away. He put the beast out and headed home. Driving back up his driveway, there was the cat!
He kept taking the cat further and further, but the cat would always beat him home. At last, he decided to drive a few miles away, turn right, then left, past the bridge, then right again and another right until he reached what he thought was a safe distance from his home and left the cat there.
Hours later the man calls home to his wife: “Jen, is the cat there?”
“Yes”, the wife answers, “why do you ask?”
“I’m lost,” says the man, “and I need the cat to give me directions home.”
Funny Cat Joke – 16
Why is it a bad idea to play poker with a jungle cat?
Chances are it is a cheetah.
Funny Cat Joke – 4
My boyfriend came over, saw my litter box, and smugly said, “Oh, have you got a cat?” He wasn’t so smug when I told him, “No, it’s for company!”
Funny Cat Joke – 1
Q. How do you know when your cat’s done cleaning herself? A. She’s smoking a cigarette.
Funny Cat Joke – 6
My wife and I have three cats, and they get whatever they want. We can only know what they want from what we speculate, so it’s a lot of vests, hats, and cat shoes.
Funny Cat Joke – 8
Martha is walking in St James Park when she sees her friend Roger playing chess with his cat.
Martha says to Roger, ‘I can’t believe what I’m seeing, a cat that plays chess, what a clever animal.’
Quick as a flash Roger replies, ‘No Martha, this cat’s not clever at all – I’m beating it 6 games to 2.’
Back to top