Candy Jokes and Puns

Never take candy from a stranger.
Well, unless they offer you a ride… (jk)

How does the recipe for German chocolate cake begin?
First, invade ze kitchen.

If Bob has 40 yummy chocolate bars and eats 30 of them, what does Bob have?
Diabetes….. Bob has diabetes…

What’s the best part of Valentine’s Day?
The day after when all the chocolate goes on sale.

Q: What kind of bear has no teeth?
A: A gummy bear!

What do you get when you dip a kitten in chocolate?
A Kitty Kat bar!

What is a monkey’s favorite cookie?
Chocolate chimp!

How do you know its cold outside?
When you milk a brown cow you get chocolate ice cream!

What is an astronaut’s favorite chocolate?
A Mars bar!

Father: You improved a whole letter grade in Math on your report card!
Daughter: Yep. I’ve been eating a lot of Smarties.

How can you tell that a blondes been baking chocolate chip cookies?
There’s M&M shells all over the floor.

How many grams of protein are there in that slice of chocolate pie?
3.14159265.