Animal Jokes and Puns
These funny animal jokes and puns collection was made for all the animal lovers. We have jokes about dogs, cats, and other animals. Also check out our other funny jokes.
Funny Food Joke – 16
Give a man a fish and he will eat for a day. Teach him how to fish and he will sit in a boat and drink beer all day.
Funny Blonde Joke – 63
Two blondes decide to go duck hunting. Neither one of them have ever been duck hunting before and after several hours later they still haven’t bagged any. One hunter looks at the other and says, “I just don’t understand it, why aren’t we getting any ducks?” Her friend says, “I keep telling you, I just don’t think we’re throwing the dog high enough.”
Sky Diving Joke
Q: Why don’t blind people like to sky dive?
A: Because it scares the dog!
Funny Family Joke – 13
A child goes to his father and asks, “Father, how do parents think of names for their children?” The father answers, “Well, son, the night before the mother gives birth, the father goes into the woods and camps for the night. When he wakes the following morning, the first thing he sees is what he names his child, which is why your sister is named Soaring Eagle. Why do you ask, Bear Poop?”
Funny Computer Joke – 3
Why can’t cats use computers?
Because they only want to chase the mouse.
Funny Bar Joke – 2
A horse walks into a bar. The bartender says, “Hey.”
The horse says, “You read my mind, buddy.”
Funny Bar Joke – 8
A farmer walks into a bar with a horse. He says, “I will give any of you $1,000 if you can make my horse laugh.”
A man yells, “I’ll take that bet,” and leads the horse into the men’s room.
After a couple seconds, a loud braying laugh is heard from behind the door. The farmer screams to the man, “OK, I’ll give you $2,000 if you can make my horse cry.”
The man shouts, “You’re on!”
After a few more seconds, the man exits with the horse trudging behind him with tears streaming down his long-snout. Flabbergasted, the farmer asks, “How did you do it?”
The man replies, “I said that my d**k was bigger than his and he laughed. Then I showed it to him.”
Animal Joke – Why did the turtle cross the road?
Q: Why did the turtle cross the road?
A: To get to the shell station.
Animal Joke – What do you call a dog that…
Q: What do you call a dog that likes bubble baths?
A: A shampoodle!
Animal Joke – What do you call a cow?
Q: What do you call a cow that twitches?
A: Beef Jerky
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