Addiction Joke About Alcoholics

Addiction Joke About Alcoholics

A famous brain surgeon opened a resale store in a big city to sell used brains for transplant. He offered a doctors brain for $50,000, a Philadelphia Lawyers brain for $100,000 and an alcoholics brain for $1,000,000! When asked “Why so much for the alcoholic’s brain?” He said, “Because it’s NEVER been used!”

addiction joke about two alcoholics

Addiction joke about two alcoholics

Two drunks are driving down the highway drinking beer. All of a sudden they see a police car’s lights flashing in the rear view mirror. “What are we going to do?” asks the drunk passenger. “Don’t worry, I know what to do. Peel the label off your bottle and stick it to your forehead. Let me do all the talking.” They pull over and the cop gets out. “May I see your license and registration?” he asks. The guy gives him his license. “Have you been drinking?” “No officer. We haven’t.” “Well, you were weaving back and forth. Are you sure you haven’t had anything to drink?” The officer asked. “I swear officer. I haven’t had a sip.” “Well why do you have beer labels on your foreheads?” The man answers, “These aren’t labels. We are alcoholics, and we’re on the patch.”

break fluid addict joke

Break fluid addict joke

A friend of mine is addicted to drinking brake fluid. He says he can stop at any time.
Another friend used to be addicted to drinking detergent, but he’s clean now.

Sex Addiction Joke

Sex Addiction Joke

The stunning blonde went to her faculty advisor for some course problems, but seemed distracted. “Are you okay?” he asked her. “Well, to be honest, I have this compulsion to have sex with every man I meet,” she admitted. “Is there a name for my condition?” “Why yes, there is,” he said with a smile as he headed for the couch, “I call it ‘Good News’!”

LSD addict joke about dragons

LSD addict joke about dragons

A boy asks his grandmother, “Granny, have you seen a bottle of pills? It says ‘LSD’ on the bottle.” The grandmother replies, “To hell with the pills… Have you seen the dragon in the kitchen?”

Coffee Addiction Joke

Coffee Addiction Joke

You Should STOP drinking coffee if:
You chew on other people’s fingernails.
You can type sixty words per minute with your feet.
You short out motion detectors.
Starbucks owns the mortgage on your house.
You help your dog chase its tail.
You name your cats “Cream” and “Sugar.”

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